Preparing the heart...

I never knew growing up could be so hard.

Let me clarify...
I never knew that losing people/loved ones could be as hard as it is. Growing up those people just don't exist anymore. But by now I am attached... Losing anyone is so painful.

I have NOT lost anyone yet... not recently.... But even news of an older person having additional health problems has set me "off". I have had so much loss in my life in the past 6-7 years (in one way, shape, or form) that my heart can't hardly handle anymore. It started with my Dad, then my Grandpa, my Uncle, My Grandmother in law, my Grandfather in law, and a close elder friend of mine from church. The list goes on and on, whether it be a human loss, animal loss, or a job, car,sanity (lol)...

The news of anyone being unwell even if it isn't life threatening yet is so hard for me to handle.I lean on all of you for reading this because I feel like since my family moved to New Mexico, from Idaho that I have never had quite the same family here. That includes blood family as well as friendship family.

I used to be able to go to my parents and hug them and cry.... I don't feel like I have that anymore. To an extent they are strangers to me. I have never really had this relationship with anyone here in New Mexico... People come close... but not even my own husband is a person I feel like will just hold me while I sob...

Life is so crazy... and while I love all of my friends dearly... I feel lost right now.

My Aussies are what keep me sane at the moment. They are nonjudgmental, they love me unconditionally...They know when I need a good kiss or some love whether I am crying or not... Yet tonight I find myself crying alone... My Aussies don't even know how to handle the pain in my heart.

Yes I am taking my meds... lol

But the loss of my Grandpa 5 years ago.... Has forever broken my heart....I will never recover from the loss of him. I may not call my grandparents unless I am headed their way... but they mean more to me than silver or gold.

I didn't know that I could love someone so much until I lost him.

In This So Called Life I have learned that even though people may come and go... The affect that they had on our lives never goes away. Please don't anyone or animal go anywhere...unless you take me with you.

This Just In!!

So for any of you family members and friends out there who have heard rumors of me going back to work... I am here to tell you that those rumors are indeed true!! The best part is I don't have to worry about finding childcare either!

Beginning August 21st I will be working part time helping assist the after school program at Mesa View Christian Preschool. This means Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday afternoons from 1-5pm I won't be available. But the kids and I will be having a blast at school together! I have one other job opportunity that could possibly happen as well but right now I'm not going to share it with you.

With this said, after my last post you are all probably wondering what is going to happen or is happening with dog training. I am now eligible through the Animal Behavior College to get funding since I now have a job. which means that hopefully I will get registered for this fall before the end of August! On the training note though I am proud to announce that Fox can now sit, and heal, she is also working on off, down, and shake. We are having a blast with our pack of dogs and our great kids and couldn't ask for anything more than we have in our lives now.

My husband is also looking at accepting a promotion at work, I will let him share that with you though as I still don't know all of the details exactly. However I couldn't be more proud of him!! He is such an amazing man, I don't know who I would be or what I would do without him supporting me and loving me.

In This So Called Life  I am finally finding a way out of my rut and on my way down the path I feel like God is leading me on.

In the "Red"

Anyone ever wonder what it would be like to live your life the way you want to?

Well truth me told... Unless you have no debt and/or an amazing job to keep up with the debt, it is spent living in the "red".

I love my life as it is now, minus the stress sores on my lip and the weekly calls about debt. But after much deliberation my amazing husband and I had decided to let an awful company called Santander take our mini van. At 16.9% interest rate and $450 a month it was just no longer worth it. Thanks to my amazing in laws we were blessed with my husband's grandfather's car.

I am still pursuing dog training but have hit a slight bump. However I will move forward and prevail and make this dream come true. The look on Fox's face everyday helps me to see how important it is to me to help train people to realize how amazing their dogs can be with a little consistency in their lives.  I have one more phone call to make tomorrow and hopefully I will have the answer I am looking for!

On that note, I am suddenly feeling a great deal of guilt in the stress for the mad dash for cash in our household because my unemployment ends after next weeks payment. I pray that God will bless us with the ability to let me maintain my stay at home mom status and continue to support our family in the way that best suites all of us. The ability to be less stressed because the house is clean the dogs have been out and the kids have been taken care of to our standards all day means more to us than anything. I hope to add weight loss and fitness to that for my husband and I too.

For now I will continue to keep on truckin on and pray that everything will work out, and that I won't have to resort to taking a job that holds no meaning and loads of unhappiness in the mean time.

In This So Called Life what means the most can be what takes the most. I pray that you too will find the road to happiness and that it doesn't mean losing everything to get there.

My new Career Path

So for those of you who have been following my blog, or who are just curious what all of this excitement is about I wanted to go ahead and share with you all what is going to happen starting this weekend in the Osburn house.

I am going to begin Training to become a Dog Trainer! This way I can still be home with the kids, work with animals, and make money for our family all at the same time!

Which brings me to this...

We are happy and excited to introduce Fox Hastings from Desert Willow Aussies who is going to help me to make this all possible!!!

Fox will be a great addition to our family and will also help me to work more with a New but GREAT friend of mine Theresa who is going to work with me to gain some clients for training as well as help me to learn more about better diets for dogs as well as some great supplements to add to your dogs diets to help their quality of life be greatly improved upon!

You're asking why Another dog? This is because of how important it is to me to support Theresa as well as the way she will be supporting me by sharing me with her new puppy owners! With the news spread through her about my local dog training I will be able to quickly jump start this new career change!!

So when I am ready to start professionally training one on one with people I will let you know! I would love to help YOU too with your family!

In This So Called Life I have finally found my secret to happiness and I couldn't have done it without you Theresa!! Or the Love of my life Chris, who forever supports me in my quests!

Time for a Change

So I said I would make an attempt at putting together a list of things that I would like to see change about the person I see when I look in the mirror.

1. To start off with I still have a significant amount of weight to lose.
2. A change in my hair, something drastic.
3. More makeup.... (not to sure on this one)
4. Jewelry
5. dress more feminine 
6. Get another tattoo
7. Maybe another ear piercing?

For those of you who know me some of these may seem silly, ridiculous, or ever just plain stupid to even care about. But with the time I have had staying home I have come to realize that these things are something I cared more about than I thought I did.

In This So Called Life things that remain idol often are in need of a tune up.

All Things Crochet

I know that I use this blog primarily to talk about This So Called Life, however for you followers out there I am interested in knowing what your thoughts are on hearing a little about crochet? Like free patterns, or links to purchase patterns that I have created. Also I may possibly start offering to local New Mexicans Crochet Lessons. Let me know your opinions and your feedback! Thanks!!

Friends

How many of you 80-90's kids have been looking for the adult friendship that those of "Friends" have? I know I have to an extent. I mean obviously at some point we all have to grow up, but what about the times that you get a "break" (if you will) from being an adult. What about then?

Does one then get to meet at the coffee house, and own ducks and chickens in an apartment?

Who knows, what I do know now is that it is those friendships that are few and far between that can really make the difference. Like a "single" friend coming to your house with your 4 crazy dogs and 2 children to see your new digs and eat dinner that can truly make a friend. Who knew those friends could be so close and yet so far away at the same time.

You know who you are.

In This So Called Life it is the little things that count.

A New Baby for Auntie Em

Today an incredible thing happened!! My little sister had her first baby!! I can't believe that my own flesh and blood had a baby!!! I have two nephews and a niece already (through marriage), and I love them dearly. But there is nothing like having you own sibling bring a child into the world. I wish I had been there to support my sister, on the other hand though with no medication I can't believe how much of a trouper she was. What a beautiful baby she and my brother in law made. I wish I was there now to soak it up and hold the little angel. Unfortunately I am at least 8 hours away with 2 children of my own on one salary... So it may be a few weeks before I see my new niece, but the fact of the matter is I am Auntie Em!!! You can laugh all you want, but I am Auntie Em and the thought that someday my own little "Halford" baby will come running to me saying Auntie Em!! I missed you, just makes me cry. I love you MAlex!!! You have no idea how excited I am for both of you to start this new journey in your life together. I can't wait to meet my little "LEV" and hold her, and kiss her. Congrats!! You couldn't have made this Auntie any prouder!!

In This So Called Life  it is the little miracles that make the difference.

Did you find my motivation?... I seem to have misplaced it.

It is interesting how at times one can just keep on trucking on like a hamster running in a wheel... Then there are those other times...

After doing some research through support groups with Etsy I now understand that initial sales don't always come easy and for some people it can take up to  6 months just to make sales start coming in... How does one keep that motivation up and keep that wheel from squeaking in the mean time?

I've been told several times to just keep making stuff... But I don't know where to begin... It seems that I am the only one with ideas and in my opinion clearly I am not having the best ideas of or I would be selling something... Right? Maybe I am just being impatient or to hard on myself... But since I have nothing else to do in my spare time except to crochet in my busy schedule right now I find it hard to keep up this pace.

In This So Called Life what do YOU do to keep motivated or to get advice??

Darling Dish Cloths - $10.00

These are Cotton Dish Cloths. Nothing makes a sink like a nice dish cloth!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Darling Dish Cloths - $10.00

These are Cotton Dish Cloths. Nothing makes a sink like a nice dish cloth!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Darling Dish Cloths Too - $10.00

These are Cotton Dish Cloths. Nothing makes a sink like a nice dish cloth!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Baby Boy "Box" Hat - $15.00

This hat (as pictured on the right) is for babies 0-3 months, it is a fun twist the usual beanie.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little pink bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little blue bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little peach/orange bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Baby Boy "Box" Hat Too - $15.00

This hat (as pictured on the Left) is for babies 3-6 months, it is a fun twist the usual beanie.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter is almost here!

What will your little one be sporting?

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Puppy Cocoon - $35.00

Wouldn't you like to take this little guy home? This is an adorable puppy dog cocoon made for newborns until they out grow it. The two pictures of the cocoon only are of the front and the back so that you could see the spots don't stop!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little blue bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Daisy's for Dishes too - $15.00

More Daisy Shaped Dish Clothes to make a nice accent to your kitchen!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Wavy Baby Stripes Hat - $15.00

This is a cute hat that could fit babies from 0-6 months. It is super soft and comfy!!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Cozy Teddy Bear Cocoon - $30.00

This Cozy Teddy Bear Cocoon is perfect for your new little one boy or girl. If you think it needs an added touch upon purchase I am more than happy to add a bow or a bow tie to your teddy bear!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little blue bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Baby Boy Bobbles - $15.00

This hat is for babies 0-3 months, it is a fun twist on camouflage bringing in greens and blues.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Who will be first?

Who will be the first person to purchase an item from me?? Right now I am betting it will be my friend who offered to buy an item I am making for her just so I can have a sale!! I dare you to be the first and prove me wrong!! Who is up for the challenge?

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Puppy Cocoon - $35.00

Wouldn't you like to take this little guy home? This is an adorable puppy dog cocoon made for newborns until they out grow it. The two pictures of the cocoon only are of the front and the back so that you could see the spots don't stop!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Getting Fruity Baby Hat - $15.00

The hat pictured on the right is a "grape" hat. It is made out of worsted weight "I Love This Yarn" so it is super soft! I measured it to fit anywhere from 0-3 months.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Time Wasted...

So for those of you who haven't been unemployed before, whether every state does this or not...

Apparently the state of New Mexico thinks that people are incapable of looking for a job on their own. I wasted 2 hours of my time and the workforce center today going to a mandatory meeting that if I didn't attend would result in them cancelling my unemployment payments.

Heaven forbid the state just pay me to stay home.... What a joke unemployment payments and COBRA are anyways. $1300 a month for health insurance through COBRA, and the state only pays me $1200 a month... Some how I just don't see how any of this is supposed to benefit me.

Oh and in the mean time I am supposed to look for a job that is a job period. Whether it pays me less than unemployment or not. What a mess.

So for those of you in This So Called Life who already have this "unemployment t-shirt" I have to say I don't envy you, I never did. Now I wish I could give the t-shirt back, or say that I didn't have to travel this road at all to begin with. Where is that money tree when you need it?

Hippy Flower Hat - $25.00

This is a 0-3 months hat, the flower adds a fun twist to that BIG flower with some fun bold stripes.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Owl Hat - $20.00

This owl hat is for babies 12-18 months! It is super soft and so cute!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Thank you again!

I wanted to thank everyone again for all of their support! It means nothing more to me than the chance to be able to start my own little crochet business to share with others and help to keep me home with my kids and taking care of our home like my husband and I want me to be!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Mickey Mouse Cocoon - $30.00

This adorable cocoon will make any Disney fan excited to see their baby wrapped in their favorite childhood characters! It is super soft and great for keeping that new baby warm and cuddly.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Baby Owl Cocoon - $30.00

This is an adorable twist on the owl hat, made to match a baby cocoon with wings and all! Buttons for eyes, this adorable set is made for newborns up until they out grow it.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

Daisy's for Dishes - $15.00

These are Cotton Dish Clothes. Nothing makes a sink like a nice dish cloth!

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

It's Been a While... Too Long if you ask Me

So Here I sit at 11:20 MST at night... Thinking about things to come.

When was the last time you took a step back from your life and really took a look at the big picture and thought wow... so this is it.

What were your thoughts? Were you happy? Sad? Mad? Ready to kill yourself over it?

I can honestly tell you that for the first time in my life, no matter how bad things are financially I am 100% happy. I don't know if I can speak for my husband on this matter, but the fact of the matter is I was laid off from my job almost 4 weeks ago and I have lost 16.5 pounds to show for it (or the lack there of) and happy kids, a clean house and less fighting in my house hold period.

 I don't know what more a happily married woman could ask for? I don't need fancy things, I am as easy as it comes. My husband can vouch for me, I don't like getting flowers, and I don't wear jewelry, or use fancy purses or wear expensive clothes. This is it, I can't tell you how happy I am. Really.

For the first time in almost 16 years I can say that tomorrow is going to be a good day, and I don't even know what is to come. But it will be good, if not great!

Thank you RIEtech Global for clearly not understanding what you had in this employee.

With that said, I can't tell you how badly I miss my boys. I don't know how to go back to visit them without making an ass out of myself for still being upset over being let go. My manager just 2 days ago asked my "boss" for the details of what all I did in my position. He let somebody go in whom he didn't even know what  his employee did completely. I guess shame on them, they lost out, and they weren't even paying me what I deserved to be paid.

Life goes on! I can't tell you how amazing it is to have a little girl who loves me being home, and a little boy who is ecstatic that his mommy is taking him and picking him up from preschool. To top it all off a husband in whom the worst arguments I have with are who is going to change the babies diaper. Who knew life could be so sweet.

Easter Bunny Cocoon - $30.00

This sweet little peach/orange bunny cocoon is perfect for this coming Easter and Spring time.

Click Here to Visit My Etsy Shop!

I'd Rather be Laid Off than Pissed Off...

It has been an interesting roller coaster of a week, going from blah do I have to go to work again? To laid off and in shock, my boss confirmed how I felt that the entire front part of our building felt about my position in the company... I was really "just admin" to them after all. In the mean time I find myself missing my "work husband" and my Dad... Who knew that working with a parent could be so rewarding. I feel like while I am ecstatic to be home with my kids and getting them into a better routine in life and healthier living that I am missing my friends. The people to whom I vent, and to whom I would simply just chat their ears off... It brings tears to my eyes... Yet when I take the time to keep busy here at home where I have a lot of things to do... I suddenly realize it is just the friendship I miss, not the work or everything else that came with it. In This So Called Life I find that I am having to re-create who I am in this change of jobs. Document control specialist to Full Time House Wife, watch out here I come!

A Sense of "Purpose"

Suddenly with my new Etsy shop and something driving me to do something I enjoy and share it with others (even if they are paying) I find myself feeling this new sense of "purpose". I feel like I don't just get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, go to bed, press repeat anymore...

There is something to be said for truly enjoying life, I may highly dislike my job right now, but this helps me to get through my day. When I say this I mean: Blogging, Updating pages, Crocheting, Sharing all of this with friends and family. Feeling like I am contributing to my own happiness for once. I never knew it could all be this simple.

All this time in This So Called Life I have assumed that all that I was doing for myself was enough, or all that could be done. It turns out that I haven't lost all control... yet. (laughing out loud) Hey I can't turn into a complete optimist all at once.

Can you capture the moment?

So as I push forward and look to the future I have opened my Etsy account! Now the question is for the items I currently have to sell do I ask my talented friend to help me take photos of them to place on their listing. Or do I ask her or someone else to help me learn how to take them myself?

I realize that in some cases the product sells itself, however I know for me personally when I am looking for items to purchase online the picture can say a thousand words! My friend has inspired me to pursue this because of her talent and ability to just pick up a new talent and make it a business.

Would rather purchase items from the person on the right or on the left?

Hopefully I will be as successful at my endeavors as she is. If you are a New Mexico local, I suggest you look Jennifer Lynne photography up. Here is her website! http://www.facebook.com/JenniferLynnePhotographie you can also find her blog at jenniferlynnephoto.wordpress.com

In This So Called Life it is so important to be happy, enjoy what you do, and support others in the things that make them happy! Good luck with whatever it is that you are pursuing, I'm sure you will do great at it whatever it is!!

Home away from Home

Glenwood Springs, CO

My Home away from Home

Does anyone else have that place that they spent the other 1/2 of their life growing up in?

To fill you in on a little of who I am I thought I would share a little of my life story. Maybe in sharing I won't be so home sick anymore.

I was born and raised the first 13 years of my life either in Idaho Falls, ID or in Glenwood Springs, CO. The one constant in my life however has always been Glenwood. I know many of you (espcially in NM) may find this odd, but that is where I always saw my family, my cousins, the other parents otherwise known as my grandparents, aunts and uncles. This is where I learned to swim, I figured out that my life would never be the same because of this little town and my amazing family.

In Idaho Falls I spent 2/3 my 13 years of life in girl scouts, at church, in musicals, riding my bicycle around the block over, and over again, and learning new handy things in 4-H. Leaving Idaho wasn't supposed to be hard, all kids move right? Wrong, apparently leaving everything you know behind is a bigger deal than I realized it was. I hadn't been gone from Idaho for a year when my best friend and I had saved up enough cash to fly me to Utah to drive back "home" to be with my friends.

On the other hand Glenwood was still in my life, and I was still there the other 1/3 of my life. There I learned to swim, what wildlife looked like close up, how to paint with my grandma, and that my grandpa may have actually known every single person in that little town.

I am learning now that going back to Idaho will never be the same, I won't be able to just pick back up where I left off. There are strangers living in my child hood house, and most of the people I knew no longer live there. However, Glenwood is still the same, I still can go visit, but I am missing a part of my heart there too. In March of 2007 I lost my Grandfather, words cannot explain how my heart aches.

While my grandpa was in the hospital having surgery that would ultimately change my entire family's life, I was coming out of my fourth brain surgery. Unable to go see my grandfather broke my heart, my mom went to him as soon as she knew that I was okay. While she was on the road to go to him, I was left on the couch in her living room sobbing.

Not having my grandpa at my wedding, or having him be able to meet my kids, or having them be able to meet such an incredible man has been very hard for me and others of my family alike. He will forever be missed, I look forward to meeting up with him in heaven some day to talk to him about everything that he has missed actually experiencing.

I'm sure you are wondering what at this exact moment is making me miss all of this so much? My middle sister who lives in Glenwood is 6 months pregnant with her first baby! I am so excited for her, but sad to be so far away in a time when we could be closer together to share in this exciting time. I feel like I am missing out on something, I just wish that I had more time to spend with my kids, and my family both in state and out of state. The life I have isn't bad, but it is definitely not the life that I thought I would be living. Working full time and raising kids isn't easy.

Well as I'm sure you are thinking already in This So Called Life things aren't easy... Maybe I should just get over it? Maybe someday I will... But not today.

iFit... Or so I thought

So how many of you out there found out after a rude awakening that you aren't as fit as you thought you were? It can be a very painful reality to face once it has been presented to you.

Lets be honest with ourselves though... Did you really think after a year and a half or more of not doing any real exercise that it wouldn't hurt a little?

Needless to say I guess I have a long road a head of me... Not only will I be attempting to shed a lot of weight, but now I will also be trying to find the strength I once had. Where is marching band when you need it? (laughing out loud)

So I challenge you to keep me updated on your journey, whatever it may be. In return I will try to be motivation, or funny if nothing else, in the mean time to help us all get through this new years resolution. I will be skinny again! I will be comfortable in my own skin again!!

In This So Called Life all it takes is some motivation, and a place to talk to help get me through this. What will it take you?

In the "Know"

So after searching further for home improvement items on www.craigslist.com and other sites in search of new or used item that might help. I have discovered that perhaps I am out of the "loop", I think that there is some secret or hidden club out there that people are a part of that helps them all the make there yards and external views of their homes beautiful without losing an arm and a leg.

So here it is... So you have to be in the "know" to have that affordable-free beautiful yard? Or is it just connections?

I feel like it is a game of Clue... Is the person I should be talking to male or female? Does he/she wear glasses/contacts? Does this person have freckles, long hair, short hair?

So for those of you who are in the "know" please fill me in! Fill us all in, where are you hiding these all of these amazing finds? How do you have the time to spend all day on the computer or out on the town searching for these goods? I feel like this is somewhat like the working from home deal. People do it... it can be done... but only they know about it. Unless they let others in, let them know their secret... the rest of us are just left hoping that some day we will stumble upon that secret door. The way in to the secret garden...

In This So Called Life I ask you, what has saved you a buck, or made your life "easier" like working from home? Fill us in! Fill Me in!! My "mommy" always said that it's not nice to keep a secret!

Discovering how to use Blogger (and other tricky tales)

Discovering how to use Blogger (and other tricky tales)

I hope to explore this more!!

Recycling

So my husband and I have our little boys 4th birthday coming up in 2 weeks! It is incredible that 4 years has gone by already! Since we are in our own home now we decided to get him a swing set for his birthday. We are super excited about it, however with that said we have been discussing how to "finish off" the swing set area. Our back yard is currently unfinished so we have to decide what kind of edging to place around it and what we want as a base to that area.

The swing set we picked has a sand box... So more sand seems like overkill to me. So I decided I would go searching for recycled shredded tires. We have been to a park here in Rio Rancho, NM that had it as the base layer and it was perfect! In my search I have found that apparently they want you to pay as much for the tire in its shredded form as you would pay for it in its original form!! It is ridiculous how much money companies think they can get away with charging for recycled products!

So in my hunt for the right base layer for this "play ground" I have decided that maybe investing in some scrap synthetic grass or maybe just going the overkill route and using more sand is more realistic than taking the conventional, earth favoring route of recycled product.

In This So Called Life I am clearly in the wrong business!

What was your resolution?

So as some financial stress has been lifted from my shoulders I have now found myself thinking about things like my waist line... or the lack there of. So while we are already more or less a month into the new year, I find myself making a resolution to find my "hidden" beauty. To find a shape that is less round and that is more like that of an hour glass.

Have you made a resolution? If so, who was it for? Did you do it for you, or did you do it for someone else?

If you made this commitment to someone else, consider this... Is this resolution to your benefit? Is it something that you want for you, or perhaps were you pressured into it? If so, it is almost a guarantee that you have set yourself up for failure. On the other hand, if you made the commitment to yourself, have you found someone to help you along your journey? Someone who can help you to "stay in check". I have found that without immediate results, and the lack of support, I set my self up for failure every single time.

So in This So Called Life I challenge you to grab that resolution by the horns and hold on tight!

In Order to Prevent...

If you had to keep something up to date for an audit every 6 months... Would you A) wait until the last minute to update it, or B) set yourself a reminder to update it each month?

And the answer is..... (drum roll please).... B!!!

Why would you wait until last minute to do anything when by doing continual maintenance on that thing (like your car for example) will help you to avoid "breaking down". Why not get your oil changed every 3,000 miles instead of waiting until your car is telling you it needs to be done? Typically by the time your car is telling you the oil should be changed it is a little late and you are in for more than just your basic oil change.

So I challenge all of you to take a step back and in This So Called Life find a way to maintain those things that sneak up on you without some occasional "attention" and some preventive maintenance.

To Charge or Not to Charge...

So as the days have gone by... in an effort to make life "affordable" again... I have been re-evaluating my finances with my husband. Well that is more to say that I evaluate them... Talk to him about it... We agree on a decision and go with it! (nothing like flying by the seat of your pants) How many of you out there have managed to live a Credit Card Free life? I am venturing to guess that it is not many of you, because of the "state of the economy" my guess is that I probably don't know anymore than one person who doesn't have some form of debt whether it is past or present that is from a Credit Card. What I wouldn't give to own stock of VISA or Master Card... But if I wanted to own stock in it I may have to put it on my VISA just to buy it!! (laughing out loud)

So as my family braves a new day... a day without the "security" of credit cards I ask you this...

In This So Called Life are you able to take the challenge and live a life credit card free?

The Blunt Factor

So since I have been on my job hunt it has become apparent to me that without stating my needs up front to employers I am wasting their time and mine. So with this effort on board mentally I sent out my resume, cover letter, and a letter of recommendation to several job listings. Now clearly everything you apply through online today is not "real" (if you will). I've already had 2 replies saying that my per hour wage is attainable and that I can do this all from home! "Yes from home!" All I have to say in reply to that is if only it really were that "easy". Also another who straight up told me "we are not a match." Which while I can appreciate his honesty coming from my honesty, all I could think was okay... Ouch... But I'm really not being unrealistic in my request.

Why not tell the person who is offering the job what you are looking for before you waste everyone's time? This way you don't waste anyone's time except your own spent on applying for the positions, just to find out you are "not a match". Which isn't a waste because look at all of the time you saved!?

In This So Called Life we have to find a balance between what is beneficial to us and what is not... Honestly if you are not going to benefit me by paying me what I am worth then you really aren't that beneficial to me... Are you?

This So Called "Economy"

So a sign of the times has taken place at my place of "business". Yesterday the upper management at my office came to work to discover that we had been "robbed". Someone had between Tuesday and Wednesday stolen our electric meters off the side of our building. So instead of closing business until everything could be confirmed to be up and running... We reopened our business today with no way to do business... Our main ERP isn't up and running AND neither is our email. So I ask, why am I here? Apparently it is to sit here and blog to pass time, or get paid to "sit at work, instead of doing nothing at home". The words of a manager fallen heavy on an employees ears... Apparently I have no life outside of work?

Apparently these electric meters were stolen to resell, or possibly stolen by a previous "pissed off" employee of PNM. Needless to say this act didn't inconvenience PNM at all, only the companies whom they stole the meters from. Go figure...

Mean while PNM has informed us that the unit on the side of our building is so old that we may be replacing it to update our 30 year old model. Now how long does this take? 2-4 weeks!!!? So unless they will approve our machine shop produced cover to their panel we will be closing our doors for a while. I guess if the business wasn't hurting before it will be now...

In This So Called Life I often wonder what it is that keeps any business's doors open. For ours it looks like it may be something as simple as electricity.

A change of pace

So as my wheels turn... I start wondering if I should possibly start looking into a different school program. No I would not be completing my bachelors right now (that is down the road). However I have been considering things like Veterinary assisting, or Cosmetology. If I played my cards right I could do Cosmetology and work part time enough that I could be a stay at home mom and make decent money. On the other hand I could also do Medical Transcription and work from home. These are all options, have you ever considered  changing where you are in life to do what is best for those around you?

Granted in this case the benefit for me may out way what it is for others around me in some ways, but I don't think anyone can be completely selfless in the decisions that they make in life. Some day the government will realize how much a homemaker is worth and pay them, man or women, to stay home and take care of what their family has worked so hard to obtain. Someday... Maybe for my little girl? Or maybe for my little boy? Perhaps what I see as a need for now I can help to make a change for the future. I'm not sure how a person would go about changing life in this way, but I'm sure that "with a will, there is a way".

In This So Called Life we have to grab the bull by the horns and enjoy the ride.

Friendship

How many friends do you have? I remember a day and time as a child that you had one best friend, and then others whom could compare or not. I also remember a day and time when I had multiple best friends. What is a "best friend", Websters dictionary states that a best friend is: an intimate or close friend (see boon companion). I ask you at what point is that friend no longer a best friend but yet a friend of the past or a friend in whom you know you can call on in a time of need?

Admittedly I'm not sure I am a best friend to anyone who is not blood or relative. After a rather long weekend of baby showers, and cleaning house I have come to the realization that perhaps I have my priorities in terms of friendship out of "whack". I often tell those closest to me that I have no friends, just them, so when I need to gripe about them who am I supposed to gripe to?

After a day at a GREAT baby shower I realize that it is me who has elected to say I have no "best friend" not the people not wanting to be my friend. After all of these years you would think I would know how to carry a relationship outside of marriage? Apparently the poll is in and the answer came out in big bold letters, NO.

So I ask you my "readers" whomever you may be to take a step back and look at your life. If you are unhappy with what it has become, consider this, perhaps by chance it isn't a kitchen knife, but a double edged sword. Without the yin to your yang, whatever in may be, you will forever feel unhappy or as though you have an empty void inside.

So for all of you out there who I would like to call friend please understand that I am working on fixing my relationship issues. In This So Called Life I realize I am not perfect, and am in desperate need of some companionship that will help me find happiness in life again, hopefully in turn I will help bring some happiness to your life as well!

What is your degree worth to your boss?

So people after much anticipation I have discovered that to my boss my degree is only worth an additional $0.63 and hour or $20 a paycheck... This is suppose to "help" me and my family do better how?

Just food for thought...

On a lighter note:
When one is forced to find things to do that does not cost money...
A person/people can:

1. Paint an entire shed
2. Repair and clean out the inside of the shed
3. Remove a cemented in gate from a side yard
4. Finish moving pavers to complete a patio
5. Last but not least bake a coffee cake, and a yellow cake for no apparent reason

Too bad none of the list above will pay the bills!

Have you ever wondered how we put a price on a person no matter what the work is that they provide? I have found myself constantly considering this due to my unfortunate circumstances. It seems to me that one has to know exactly what it is that the person contributes in order to come up with this amount. If you don't know what your employee does or contributes to the company or society, how can you "justify" the amount of money you do or don't pay them? In This So Called Life I'm not sure that anyone has actually done this... that or they are trying to "out-mode" me...

What if you knew a co-workers salary...

What if you had accidentally seen a co-workers salary? I am not saying oops I searched for it and found it, or they told me... This was a kind gesture from a co-worker showing me how to use a budgeting spreadsheet, when a tab was clicked that had the hourly rate this employee made right in front of my eyes... I try to remind myself through my frustration of not receiving a worth while raise that I may or may not be comparing this to that number I saw that day over a year ago...

Here is the bigger issue, I now have 4 1/2 years of experience doing what I do, plus an associates degree to back it up. Mean the person mentioned above has no college education added to experience and has been given the title of "President" in a different company... I wish there was a way to hold some sort of leverage in this situation with my boss... What this employee was making compared to what I am making now is about a $5/hr difference... With NO college education... How does that work?

This is why you aren't supposed to know your co-workers salaries though... I know this and understand it well, however in this accidental case of knowledge how do I learn to grow and move on from this? Maybe I will never be able to move on from this... Maybe the answer to this all is to just move on?

I wish there was a way to stay at this job since I enjoy it, and get the raise and acknowledgement I deserve. Instead because I need to be paid appropriately in order to "live" I have been placed in a position of job hunting. I may end up in a job that I hate but pays me well and be stuck there for years... But I guess at least I will be paid well... Right? This is my so called life after all...

Which is Worse...

I don't know what hurts worse...

Knowing that everyday I go to work and am under-appreciated and under-paid
or...
Knowing that everyday I go to work and am under-appreciated and under-paid, while someone else is raising my children for me.

Mean while...
If I were to quit tomorrow (for example) I would be hurting those same children and my husband that I love so much. So perhaps I should start auctioning off debt?! Anyone want to by a 2007 Mazda5 for 18k? Ooh!! Or a consolidation loan, or credit card debt?

What is worse is that my boss dared to tell me to cut back on some of my "extra expenses". I haven't had any of those is years... $7 a month for Netflix is the only thing I have that is a luxury... Somehow I just don't think that $7 a month is going to help, much less would I call Netflix a luxury. I could be wrong, but I'm going to take a leap of faith and say probably not. Now on the other hand if I weren't cutting everyone's hair at my house, and I was dying my hair and getting pedicures and manicures... I could see where he might could say that... I will admit that perhaps we could cut back on some of our eating out, lets be serious though really how much is that going to help either?

So I will also add that Emily is for hire (you know what I mean...)! I won't advertise my cost on the WWW, but lets just say whatever the amount I am a hard worker and well worth it. I take pride in my work, I have to, is there any other way?

Just an associates degree...
Just extra work...
Just not completely worth it...

Education...College or not...?

For those of you wondering what on earth does Emily have to blog about? Here it is... My so called life. I recently have graduated from college, with an Associates of Arts in Foundations of Business. Sounds fancy doesn't it? WRONG! Apparently this still isn't enough education to justify a significant raise at work. Instead I get to continue to suffer and attempt to pay student loan bills on top of that.

Why is it that this country "bad economy" or not cannot seem to take pride in its achievements no matter what the value of them is? Instead we continue to look on to the bigger and better things and leave what used to be considered "great" in the dust. So those of us who are striving to accomplish something in this "bad economy", and are accomplishing are now worse off then they were before without the education. It seems to me that something has got to change, and in my opinion there is no amount of voting that would change this. If a company cannot take the time to acknowledge its employees how does it expect to keep them around? Are employees no longer an investment, but instead something that is easily traded in/out for newer or older models?

Too bad I can't make money off of my opinions...because I have got a few... No I don't have to just be grateful to have this job, yes I should typically have gotten my degree for me, but if I had done that... I would be making less than I am now... I know it is life, and I know I have said this before... but it just really shouldn't be this hard.